Part 3 and 4, Pediatrician and ENT

This morning was really full! We left the house shortly before 8 for an appointment with Lottie's new doctor, the Pediatrician. She was very kind, but younger than I expected! She came up with the same issues that Dr Felkley and the audiologist did- Lottie has fluid in her ears.

She was very pleased to know that Lottie has learned a lot of sign language. She currently knows about 20-25 words in sign language where verbal kids her age typically know around 10 words. So she is definitely communicating well.

This doctor related Lottie's hearing issues to putting your head underwater and trying to hear. You can hear voices, but they are all muffled and more just general tones rather than words. Lottie has been trying to learn to talk through that! No wonder she hasn't learned anything!

We went to the ENT next. She was VERY good at the ENT and let them look in her ears. He told me at first that Lottie wouldn't like what he was going to do but he wasn't going to hurt her. Then he proceeded to paw through a bunch of sharp tools. I seriously though he was going to go poking around in her ears. But no, all he did was put a huge light into her ear and look through a microscope thingy. And Lottie did stay very, very still for that.

With just barely looking in her ears he declared there was enough fluid that he is going to have tubes put in her ears immediately. He said 'as soon as possible'. So we headed out to the front desk to schedule surgery. We have a pre-op appointment scheduled for Jan 3 and then the surgery will happen on Jan 9, first thing in the morning.

After the surgery she will have a follow up with ENT and Audiology at about 4-6 weeks and then a follow up with the pediatrician at about 8 weeks, to make sure she is learning to talk well. I'm pretty sure that EDIS will work with her, at least for a little while, as soon as the tubes are put in.

It was weird to me, on the way home from the doctor, to think that Lottie can't actually hear me. It completely changed how I though about the things I was saying to her. I was told by audiology that she couldn't hear me, but I guess I more pictured that I was just too quiet or something. But the analogy to being under water makes a lot more sense. Talking louder isn't going to get her to hear my any more. And giving her commands while she isn't even facing me, I realized thats pretty dumb. If she can't understand what I'm saying, of course she isn't going to listen.

I'm glad that we are pursuing this and getting things cleared up. Hopefully this is the end of it and none of the hearing loss is permanent. But I guess we'd just deal with it if it were...

Part 2, Audiology

Lottie's audiology appointment was this morning. After rushing out the door and thinking I'd miss the appointment, I happened to make it on time, no thanks to Guam traffic!

The doctor led us into this soundless booth. It was weird and our voices sounded muffled and there was even a slight pressure on my ears. It wasn't really that comfortable at first. Lottie was a champ and allowed the doctor to look in her ears. He confirmed our family doctor's finding that there is indeed fluid one of Lottie's ears and it seemed red, indicating an infection.

He then put some ear buds in her ears and I *think* he was sending sound waves to measure her eardrum's responses. That resulted in him saying that there is quite a bit of fluid in both of her ears. He immediately said that he is going to refer us to the ENT (Ear, Nose, Throat doctor) who will more than likely put Lottie on a round of antibiotics. There is a possiblity that she would also get tubes, but that isn't at all sure yet because we need to actually talk to the ENT first.

The last test he did he went into a different room with a window to us. He put ear buds in Lottie's ears again. This time he sounded a tone in each ear and flashed a lighted toy at the same time. The toy was either to her left, her right or above her. He would sound the tone in her right, left or both ears as he lit the toy up. The point was to create a conditioned response where she would hear the tone and be rewarded for looking for the tone by seeing the lighted toy. Eventually he would sound the tone and then light up the toy rather than doing them together, and then eventually just sound the tone without lighting up the toy.

Anyway, Lottie didn't do so well on that test. She never got to the second step where he would light up the toy as a reward for looking toward the sound. She only sporactically turned toward the sound at all and sometimes she didn't even look at anything but instead started trying to get my attention.

The doctor assumed that she was distracted and thats why she wasn't looking, but I think it was the other way around. She started getting distracted because she wasn't hearing anything. He then reported that she has mild and moderate hearing loss in the high and low tones (I can't remember which tone was mild and which was moderate). He said this is very much a problem when it comes to speech and language development.

So. Bottom line is, she needs to see the ENT. Then we'll go back to get her hearing checked again. It can go either way- the hearing loss can be completely repaired by getting the fluid cleared out of her ears, or the hearing loss could be permanant. But they won't know until we get the fluid cleared up.

Off to the other doctor then! Maybe we'll get that appointment next week and get the antibiotics going before Christmas!

Early Intervention Part 1

Lottie's Early Intervention (EDIS) appointment was this morning. There are problems but we don't know how these problems are going to affect her yet.

Issues:

1. She has low muscle tone in her stomach/back. This results in her having a hard time sitting cross legged or pushing herself up from a sitting position without 'bear crawling' her way up.

2. She has already created a preference for her right hand. While this isn't a huge deal, this does mean her left hand isn't gaining as much strength and she may have issues with coordination when she gets older. The lady seemed to think this could be a result of low muscle tone in her left arm or hand that caused the preference.

3. She has a lack of muscle tone in her mouth. She exhibits this by chewing weird. She also tends to shove her food to the side of her mouth rather than using her tongue to move it around. This results in frequent choking on her food. The lady observing said this could also be because of:

4. She has as texture aversion. Ever since she was little she didn't like putting things in her mouth and would choke easily on food. Not 'mouthing' toys or food well means that she didn't gain the proper muscles strength in her mouth to actually form words.

As we were pulling out all the toys for Lottie to show off her skills, the lady said that Lottie is very smart. She's doing activities that are beyond most 18 month old babies she sees. She seems to think that things could go either direction- Lottie could figure out how to talk and have a verbal explosion or, because sign language is working so well for her, she could decide learning to talk is just too hard.

What I'm supposed to do:

1. Get a vibrating tooth brush for Lottie to play with. This will help desensitize her mouth, if she's willing to put it in!

2. Let Lottie play on playgrounds/jungle gyms even more often. She needs a chance to strengthen her core muscles. Playing is good but she needs to play even more than the normal 18 month old would.

3. Stick our tongue out at Lottie and get her mimicking us as often as we can. This is important for her eventually copying the words we teach her.

4. Stop responding to Lottie when she says "uh". Lottie uses one sound to get attention, express needs, or generally say anything. We need to stop responding when she says 'uh' and only respond when she uses a different sound, regardless of what that sound is. This will encourage her to explore other sounds to get what she wants.

Lottie is a very smart child, I know this. But once she figures something out, she doesn't like to change nor have other people help her. This does not bode well for teaching her how to talk! Ignoring her oft-used 'uh' will mean more temper tantrums. Yay.

At this point, the lady from EDIS will give her report to her boss. She said that Lottie would not fail any of the tests they would give, because sign language is considered communication just as speaking is and since she has a rather large sign vocabulary, she wouldn't qualify for services based on the tests this lady knows about. She is hoping that her boss knows a test for verbal only that will allow them to get her help that she does need. If she doesn't qualify for services now, they'll put her on a monitoring situation where they'll meet with us once a month and she can give us as many tips and tricks as she can until either Lottie starts talking or she hits the 2 year mark where she is supposed to have 30-50 words and she would definately qualify if she hasn't started talking yet.

Audiology appointment next week. Again, hopfully nothing comes up.

Lottie at 18 Months

We took Lottie in for her 18 month check up today. She was poked and prodded and stabbed. Once we got into the car, she fell right asleep.

She is 21.5 pounds and 30 inches!

We filled out two questionaires, one for autism and the other for general age appropriate milestones. I remember doing these through Parents as Teachers for Emmaline and they were great. But the ladies would always come with a bag of toys and do the assessments themselves. But me? I have to fill out the questionaires in the waiting room of the clinic.

One of the questions that was asked was if Lottie could dump a clear bottle over to get a cheerio (or other small object) out either with being shown or without. Well, how am I supposed to know that? I don't go around putting cheerios in water bottles. Now, if they were to ask me if Lottie can easily navigate her stroller through a kitchen full of chairs and people without getting stuck? Sure! But I have no clue about the waterbottle thing. So I had to say no.

They also asked about her communication. Out of 6 questions, I was only able to say yes to one of them- does she make her wants known? Yes, and most of the time loudly with much 'patting'.

The problem is that Lottie just doesn't talk. She says 'uh uh uh' all the time and for a while she'd say 'bip' at everything but otherwise, nada. Oh, she can distinguish animals from other things- when she sees an animal she makes a weird sort of scream/growling noise thats hard to describe.

I'm confident she doesn't have hearing problems because I've whispered behind her back, called her from across the room, talked toward one ear more than another, etc. She really can hear just fine. But...

The doctor still wants us to do an audiology appointment. They'll test her hearing. She'll also get an appointment with an early intervention specialist for a thorough evaluation. He was going to refer us to the ENT because he saw some fluid behind her ears but decided to wait on that until after the hearing test was finished. Also. He is taking himself off her case and transferring us to the pediatrician and we are supposed to get an appointment with her in the next few weeks. So- three more appointments.

My thoughts? I am not sure what to think. Sometimes I'm confident that she's just a late talker and she'll come around to it on her own time and people need to stop worrying. But other times I really do worry that there is something wrong. The normal sound babbles that most babies experiment with don't generally happen with her. I'll hear it occasionally and it makes me take note because it sounds weird/different coming from her. Sometimes I wonder if I just didn't read enough to her, or sing enough with her. Or maybe the fluid buildup in her ears is a lot worse than it looks.

I'm not worried... Even if she does present with some difficulty- be it needing help hearing or speech therapy- I'm not in the slightest worried about helping her take care of it. Luckily Matt has some really good benefits so it won't cost us an arm and a leg. And I know that God loves her more than I'm capable and he may have given her a set of trials that we'll have to work through. But although they may be difficult, I'm still not worried. I trust that she'll still grow into an amazing woman with a lot of talents and an amazing strength.

I'll keep everyone updated as we go to our appointments. Hopefully all the appointments mean that there is nothing wrong. Thats every mother's wish ;)

Emmaline

Emmaline is such a good big sister. I don't think I could have picked a better first child for our family. She is so careful and doting with Gabriella and she is so playful and helpful to Lottie.

Emmaline is really into dancing right now. Her favorite show is easily Angelina Ballerina, her favorite outfit is anything that includes a tutu and her favorite activity is dancing in the living room to her own singing, music on the computer or random music making toys.

So here is a picture of Emmaline at the Squadron barbecue (please pardon the sideways pictures...something is glitching...) She is really enjoying a coconut icee that she kept calling her icecream. Hey, whatever makes her happy, right? And Id like to point out that she has started to dress herself these days! This is one of the few pictures we got of Emmaline on our trip to the aquarium. She really enjoyed pointing out the fish, counting the sharks and finding all the starfish. She just had to get up on this ledge she's crawling on because Lottie was up there... As much as she loves being the big sister, I think sometimes she wishes she were a toddler again. I'm totally in love with this picture of Emmaline. She has fallen in love with her boots but I only really let her wear them when its raining. Its only been recently that she's decided that its okay to actually get wet. Recently she saw that it was raining, put on her boots and ran outside. The rain was so loud on our canopy that she kept her ears covered! I just love the combo of her boots and her ballet clothes! When we were visiting my parents, my sister pulled out her bucket of dress-up clothes. That was her absolute favorite toy of all. This get-up was her frequent favorite dress up costume. She would then parade around asking people to carry her train for her because she was going to get married! Emmaline, Gabriella and Lottie love playing together. It was one of their favorite things to do first thing in the morning- to wake up and all cuddle and play together in bed. It was some pretty fun times (this is when we were all in the same room at my parent's house...) I'm just so happy to have my three girls!

Lottie

Lottie is such an amazing little girl. I'm floored by how smart she is sometimes. That comes with a catch- she doesn't talk yet. Not mama, not dada, nothing. Her favorite thing to say for a while was 'bip' but now it just mainly grunting and screaming. But she is amazing at getting her point across. She'll point, wave, use sign language, etc and she'll generally make known what she wants.

This morning I found a bib where it wasn't supposed to be. I handed it to Lottie and asked her to go put it in the kitchen but I figured I'd find it somewhere in the hallway, on the couch, or with her toys. So later I put her in the highchair and went in search of that bib, lookingeverywhere I thought it would be. I finally gave up and went to get a new bib and low and behold, she'd put the bib in the drawer, right where the bibs belong. I was so excited to see that she comprehended so well!

Lottie loves to sing and she sings all the time. She'll walk around the house sort of swaying to her own wordless songs and grin really big when we catch her doing it. I'm thinking voice lessons in the future :) (For some reason, the rotate isn't working, bare with me...)We went to the aquarium last weekend. Lottie really loved seeing all the fish. It was pretty cool to see her putting her hands on the glass and trying to touch the fish- the star fish were cool where she could actually put her hand right over them. Okay, so there is a story behind this hot-dog-on-a-stick... We were at the squadron barbecue and we picked up two plates of food to share between all of us. We showed Lottie the plate and she pointed out that she'd like a bite of macaroni salad- didn't like it. She ended up swiping her hand at the spoon and making quite the mess. So she pointed at the hot dogs. But they were too hot and she wouldn't hold it. So she then pointed at my chicken teriyaki (on a stick) but I was being grumpy and didn't want to share (no, actually, I just knew she wouldn't like it and didn't want to hand her the whole stick just for it to wind up in the dirt...). So she sat there screaming for a while, wanting food but not wanting what we could give her. I finally finished my chicken-on-a-stick and got the brilliant idea of just putting Lottie's hot dog on there for her to eat. And it worked! She went to town on that hot dog and thoroughly enjoyed it.

This is Lottie at our Labor day party- she is pretty dang cute, doncha think?

My mom was really worried that Lottie wouldn't remember her we we went back to visit. And I warned my mom that she would need to give Lottie a few days to adjust because Lottie is people shy... but she didn't even need that! Grandma quickly became her favorite person in the house.

Lottie really loves her new sister. She loves hugging, kissing, patting, trying to feed, and cuddling the baby. Sometimes Lottie is so curious, it boarders on mean- like when she takes Gabby's bottle out of her mouth, or when she tries poking Gabby's eyes. But she is always very concerned when Gabby cries and wants to help take care of her sister. Its such a sweet relationship to watch!

Gabriella

Gabriella is doing so well here! We got home almost 3 weeks ago and she settled quickly into a pretty good routine. She loves being outside, loves laughing at her sisters, loves being sung to by her daddy, and loves playtime with the whole family.

Gabriella at about 3 months

Just after we got home, Gabby had her first play time in the Exersaucer. She enjoys it as long as she has someone around to pay attention to because the toys don't really hold her attention yet.

Whoops! I forgot to turn it around. But I wanted to point out, if you can see it, that some of her hair is curling on top!!! I was a little bit silly when I saw that! She already has the same hair color as Emmaline and Lottie, and even has the same color eyes. Matt and I were teasing that in 10 years, when we have a few more kids, we'll have one random kid who happens to get Matt's hair and more of his looks and when we line the kids up and tell people to guess which one is adopted, that poor kid with dark hair is going to get picked out of the bunch more than Gabriella ever would!

(Never mind my hair...) This is at the Squadron barbecue. Gabriella really enjoyed the sun! Lottie (in the purple shirt) is sporting her first all-hair-in pony tale!

As for the adoption- we are nearly done with the process of putting in paperwork for the home-study part. We have one more interview on Thursday and we need to get a few more clearances before we can turn in all the paperwork. The caseworker here said that it would take 60 days to get the home-study done but I wasn't clear if she was talking about 60 days from the beginning or 60 more days from now... I sure hope its 60 from the beginning...

I know I Should have pictures...

I just feel like its been too long since I wrote but the camera isn't handy at the moment to put up pictures.

So- we are home now! The flight went really really well. There were so many people willing to help me get where I needed to go- thank goodness!

The girls all struggled getting into a good sleeping pattern again and I had one night where I slept a total of an hour an a half. That was a really long two days. But I think we are back to a 'normal' for now!

We have started the homestudy process here in Guam (thats the reason we came back!). Matt and I each have interviews next week. We are supposed to take in as much paperwork as we currently have done so I spent a long time today putting everything together. We still need background and court clearances and a few miscelaneous papers (like a certain SS card that has managed to get lost...)

We have decided to change the baby's name...again. I know! I know! Poor girl has had more names in her 3 months than an average person has in their life time. I was giving the lawyer the information he needed for the paperwork and I told her we were naming her Gabrianna Lynn. He wanted me to reread the paperwork and as I got to the part where her name was, I got this sinking feeling of "Thats not her name!" So I went home and freaked out for a while.

When it came down to it, we are just going back to the name we originally wanted for her Gabriella Lynn. It still has some significance, it just doesn't have 'Anna' in it like the birth mom originally liked. I feel much better after 'changing' her name again.

Any other updates? Oh, Lottie is currently sprouting 3 molars at once as well as two miscelaneous teeth coming in. Poor child's nose is running like a faucet and she is crankier than a crab! Emmaline turned 4 a few weeks ago and I'm sorta halfway planning a party for her here. If I actually get working on it, she'll have her 4th birthday party before she turns 5! Lol.

Matt and I are so glad to have our family all together again and I'm so thankful for all the prayers that have been said on our behalf. Thank you all for your support during this interesting adventure!

9/11

I feel compelled to write a short note about the day- it didn't have any effect on me as a child and even now, as I sit here writing- I can't say I miss anyone that died in the towers, or that I even know anyone who knew anyone who died in the attack.

That morning I went to seminary and I remember turning to my friend and saying that I felt like something bad was going to happen that day. But I thought it would be something like an earthquake or a volcano erupting. When I got to school that day I was bouncing around and happy and jubilant, like I always was (I'm a morning person). A teacher had to sit me down and explain that something bad happened and I really should stop acting so happy.

But even as I watched the towers on television, I had no understanding of the impact that the attack would have on America. I had no idea that the attack meant that thousands of people died. All I could comprehend was the material stuff- oh, that plane must have been expensive. Oh, that building is going to cost a lot to fix. Oh, its going to take a long time to get rid of the pile of debris.

It has taken 10 years for me to understand that for every person who got out of the tower, there was someone who got stuck in there. Some people burned to death, some fell to their death, some died instantly, some were crushed under a million pounds of metal and sheet rock. All these people were children of God, and all of them returned to Heavenly Father that day, for better or for worse.

But even worse than the thousands that died in the attack were the thousands of families who lost a brother, sister, mother, father, son or daughter. And the even thousands more who have died fighting a war meant to eradicate the terrorists who killed our loved ones.

Its taken me 10 years and a lot of life experience to grasp the significance of that terrible day. And I don't know if I even really understand it well enough yet.

I am so grateful that I have the fullness of the gospel in my life. I'm grateful to know that we will all be resurrected and that those who lost loved ones in the tower will have the opportunity to see and hold their friends and family again. I'm grateful for the knowledge that families are eternal, and to know that we do get to be with our families forever.

My hear-felt prayers go out to the families who have been affected- directly or indirectly- by the events that occurred 10 years ago. My God bless your lives and bring you peace and joy through your pain and sorrow.

Her Name :)

So, from the time we found out about the existance of our baby girl, I wanted to name her Gabriella Lynn. Once we were told for-sure that the adoption was going to happen, I was excited to use this name- super excited! Except I also wanted to use a portion of her birth name as a sort of memorial to who she is and who gave birth to her. That gave rise to the name Gabriella Lynnsie instead. But for some reason, it wasn't working.

And then the birth mother said that she'd thought a lot about the name Anna during her pregnancy and because of issues with her boyfriend not liking the name, she never did figure out a way to use the name. So she asked kindly that we consider using the name Anna. So we went back to the drawing board and decided that we really liked the idea of going with Gabrielle Anna-Lynn. But! When running the name idea past some very unbiased acquaintances, someone suggested a change. And the change stuck and it fits our baby girl so perfectly- the birth mother even thinks so too.

So, we'd like to announce, that we've chosen to name our baby:

Gabrianna Lynn Beach!

She will still have her birth name legally until the adoption papers go through, but we are calling her Gabby or Gabrianna already.

We chose this name a little over a week ago and there hasn't been any more waffling, so I feel its safe to actually announce it. I love that the name adds what we loved to what the birth mother loved on top of a family name. It all just fits so perfectly.

We are all doing well here. I have bonded with the baby well, although it seems strange at times she's already 2 months old. But I don't feel like I missed anything in those first 2 months, I feel like things happened exactly how they were supposed to. I'm going to be happy to get her back home and start living life again!

Her Name :)

So, from the time we found out about the existance of our baby girl, I wanted to name her Gabriella Lynn. Once we were told for-sure that the adoption was going to happen, I was excited to use this name- super excited! Except I also wanted to use a portion of her birth name as a sort of memorial to who she is and who gave birth to her. That gave rise to the name Gabriella Lynnsie instead. But for some reason, it wasn't working.

And then the birth mother said that she'd thought a lot about the name Anna during her pregnancy and because of issues with her boyfriend not liking the name, she never did figure out a way to use the name. So she asked kindly that we consider using the name Anna. So we went back to the drawing board and decided that we really liked the idea of going with Gabrielle Anna-Lynn. But! When running the name idea past some very unbiased acquaintances, someone suggested a change. And the change stuck and it fits our baby girl so perfectly- the birth mother even thinks so too.

So, we'd like to announce, that we've chosen to name our baby:

Gabrianna Lynn Beach!

She will still have her birth name legally until the adoption papers go through, but we are calling her Gabby or Gabrianna already.

We chose this name a little over a week ago and there hasn't been any more waffling, so I feel its safe to actually announce it. I love that the name adds what we loved to what the birth mother loved on top of a family name. It all just fits so perfectly.

We are all doing well here. I have bonded with the baby well, although it seems strange at times she's already 2 months old. But I don't feel like I missed anything in those first 2 months, I feel like things happened exactly how they were supposed to. I'm going to be happy to get her back home and start living life again!

The Boone Home

My mom got her Bachelor's degree in American Studies- which is a History sort of degree. Her advisor then offered her a job working at the Boone Home as a tour guide where she gets free tuition for her Master's degree in return. Pretty cool deal.

So Matt and I took our girls to the Boone Home to get a tour from my mom. It was really cool. Daniel Boone was a major explorer in the 1800s. Lindenwood University has started gathering old homes from the early 1800s and relocating them to Boone's property- so there are a few homes, a church, a carpenter shop, etc. It was very beautiful (you'll see in the pictures) and fun to see the way people lived 200 years ago. (I don't envy them!)

Below is the Carpenter's shop.

The church is behind the fence in the background below.

This is the side of the Boone Home. (We weren't allowed to take pictures inside the building so we just tried taking pictures of the scenery outside).

There is a steeple in the center of the picture with a bird on top - its the view from the balcony of the Boone Home of the church.

We really enjoyed the tour and learning about life in the 1800s. My mom said they are attempting to figure out where the old out house was. The thinking is that 200 years ago, while going to the bathroom, things may have fallen out of pockets and dropped down the hole and no one would have gone after it! I guess there have been several historical sites in the US who have found the old outhouse wells and really found some valuable things! Its sorta gross, but really cool at the same time. Personally, if I could live in an old house like that, I'd love it. It would be my ideal house. Well, the huge and beautiful lawn would have to come with it :)

Matt's trip to Washington

Part of our jaunt back to the states involved Matt going to Washington to see his dad. His dad is getting older and since we live overseas, we don't know when we'll be able to see him again. So he took a few days to visit family. Matt really enjoyed visiting both his parents and his grandparents. Hopefully we'll be able to see everyone again sooner than later!

A Quantity of Pictures

Carolyn and Emmaline with Baby

Lottie loving Baby

Lottie was trying to pick up the watermellon. I wish I'd gotten the picture a split second later with the 'grunt' face!

Mommy and Lottie at the airport. Lottie wanted the camera :)

Baby in her carseat. I love sleeping babies!

Lottie has been much more curious about the baby than Emmaline ever was, probably because Emmaline was older. I think Lottie thinks a doll just came to life! The next pictures are somewhat blurry but its fun so see how she interacts with the baby!

Lottie mid-fit.

Stylin'- I love the little tongue!

Emmaline and Carolyn watching a movie on the beanbag chair.

On the way home from the airport the girls were so exhausted from traveling for 30 hours, they zonked! Its too bad car seats aren't more conducive to comfortable sleep!