A Satirical Essay

On video games When I was a child, younger than 5, I think, my mom received as a Christmas present the very first Nintendo. The game I remember her playing was Mario Brothers and she really knew how to play it well. I would clamber for my turn on the video game, fighting my older sister and my younger brother for control of this miraculous piece of technology. When I got the ultimate gift of a turn at playing, I would make little Mario run and run and run until I ran into the first mushroom and died. Then my sister or brother would get a turn. They would go three or four levels or more before dying and I got another turn to run and run and run and jump on the mushroom. But then came the first pipe and then another mushroom, which I promptly ran into. My little thumbs couldn’t understand what I wanted them to do and soon enough, I lost complete interest in the gaming world. I turned instead to books. Ah, what a subject. While my brother and sister sat in front of the television screen with the blue light flashing on their dear little faces and their eyes burning while they tried to finally rescue Princess Peach, I began my solitary life of reading. I filled my head with so many fantasies that I began to think I was a strong princess without need of a prince charming. I began to believe that I could discover buried treasure like the pirates and I could talk to dragons, learn magic and ultimately, fly. My readings took me deeper and deeper into the dangerous world of make believe. Meanwhile, my brother became adept at video games, moving on to bigger and better worlds to conquer. Soon he moved on to computer games, hand held games and even purchased his own X-box. His pursuit of the gaming world brought friends to our house, company to compete with, boys who he could discuss strategy with and more games to play. My books brought me solitude as I walked to the library with my heavy backpack, dumping it out in the drop box and refilling it for my walk home. My trips to school and home from school were done with my nose in a book, almost a different one every day. Reading caused me to complete my school work faster and faster each day so I could have even more time to read both in class and at home. At night, my brother would fall asleep dreaming of the next adventure that his video games could bring him and I would stay awake with my eyes itching, head hurting, reading and reading and reading. Although I finished my novels at a quick pace, I got less sleep than a growing girl needed and my brother began to excel in classes where I merely stayed where I was at- surely because he was sleeping and I was not. As an adult, I have come to learn of the admirable qualities of video games that I wish I had known when I was younger. I may have continued to practice as my brother did and gained the unbelievable benefits as he did. My sister played with controllers that required thumbs to push buttons and as she did so, she was strengthening the muscles that she will inevitably be using later in life to text message her myriads of friends. This is obviously true for all other video struck youngsters. Staring into a screen daily for hours on end, playing challenging, mind bending and entertaining games ultimately prepared my sibling’s eyes for the eventual job of staring at a computer screen every day during college and the rest of a chosen career. Another benefit of the video games is that ultimately, everyone who plays video games on a regular basis has better hand-eye coordination. It’s been proven. This hand-eye coordination will be beneficial in future life as my sister, brother and all their friends become surgeons and show their excelled ability in removing arthritis from the fingers of other video game players. The benefits of video games are many but I do need to mention on very important thing. Prolonged exposure to video games deadens one’s ability to feel apathy for people in pain. That’s been proven too. And violence present in many games has been suggested to contribute to the increase in violence in the real world. But you shouldn’t worry about that too much. Since everyone is playing video games or becoming doctors to fix people who play video games, wars that are started by video-game-players will be fought by men with excellent hand-eye coordination. This will be beneficial because less bullets will be used, therefore cutting the cost of military supplies by nearly half. I remember playing “Operation” as a child. There was a silly looking man on a table who had a red light bulb as a nose. We would each take turns drawing cards that would tell us which body part to remove. If we were able to remove the body part without touching the tweezers onto the metal rim, we would earn money. I was horrible at this game, probably because I read rather than exercising my thumbs. My brother and sister though, would not only swiftly and deftly remove the body parts without ringing the bell but would also earn much more money and thereby win the game. Likewise, the doctors employed by the military during war have been raised on video games and are and excellently skilled in the art of ‘operation’. Because of their video games, they will have less men dying on the table (partly because of the deadly accuracy of the shooters and partly because of their ability to swiftly remove debris). This will benefit the country because fewer doctors will be needed in war and it will further decrease the cost of war. The money saved directly because of video games will be put to very good use. After the government has seen the unimaginable benefits of the citizens of this country playing video games, they will make video games free, enabling avid gamers to quit working and enjoy a life of leisure. I’m sure my brother would enjoy that immensely. Now, I have seen the error and follies of my youth. I’m a committed woman. I am changing my life, one video game at a time. Playing video games in adulthood hasn’t come nearly as easily as it would have if I had stuck to it as a child but I, like adults who try to learn a foreign language, am going to become proficient at playing video games. Its for my own health and safety and if I am lucky, one day I can save lives because I played video games.